Drinks well with others. Happily dances alone.

Toilet swiping: modern dating? — January 3, 2017

Toilet swiping: modern dating?

Edit: this post talks about bowel movements. My friend said I am better than that so it will be the last time I talk about shit but note you can totally win over the ender 10s with fart jokes. 

On New Year’s Day I mentioned my social media sabbatical and how I realised that most of my interaction on Facebook and Instagram was when I was in the toilet. 
For the two days on social media sabbatical I replaced my need to scroll with the need to swipe on dating sites. Most mobile app based dating sites require users to swipe right for hell yeahs and left for the oh hellll no.

Let me provide background. I am separated for a while. I believe this year I am finally allowed to apply for a divorce  (thank you Catholic Ireland 😑). Note that my ex at one point in my life was exactly what I had needed in my life at that particular moment of our lives. Unfortunately we both moved in different life paths which made it evident that we would never reconcile. Let me also state that I didn’t reach this point of Zen about our past relationship till much much later. 

Trying to juggle a job, motherhood, and a new health lifestyle change does not make it easy to meet men so I decided to give online dating a go again. I had tried it previously 5 years ago but the attempt was just filling a need to validate that I was still able to pull men in, that men still found me attractive. Anyways,  it’s not a basis in trying to establish a relationship when you need to seek outside justification for your self-worth. I had said it in a post today that in the past I had essentially became an extra in my life, that I allowed myself to fade in the background. You need to love yourself before you seek someone to love you. I digress. 

Online dating:

  • Tried POF, didn’t like it because any ‘ole Tom, Dick, and Harry can contact you. Also there is some load of married men on there looking for side action. Schmucks. 
  • Tried and am still on Bumble however buy in is slow in Ireland and is more users in Cork or Dublin. Btw there seems to be loads of single guys in Galway, so ladies I suggest a visit there. 
  • Tinder. Lol. I initially downloaded it for my girlfriends to take a look at it on a night out. It was great source of entertainment and one friend was treating it like the slots. 3 consecutive matches! YES!! I have to admit that it’s not as sleazy as I thought it would be.

All of these sites was actually accessed when I was on the toilet. I suspect most people doing the swipes is in their most vulnerable state with trousers at their ankles.

So the questions I have is how serious do you think a relationship can be if you swiped while shitting? 

Are you already dooming any hopes of something serious because you will associate your Tinder match with yesterday’s morning poo?


Next time I will discuss tips in keeping yourself safe when you do decide to do coffee date and the ridiculous dating profiles I have seen.

Social media sabbatical  — January 1, 2017

Social media sabbatical 

For the end of 2016 and beginning of 2017 I decided to take myself offline from Facebook and Instagram. 

I didn’t want to end the year and start the new year with conflict, either through sharing of an article or by posting one of my many rants.  So I removed myself from those two platforms.  You see I’m an oversharer of my thoughts, I am obnoxiously opinionated, politically incorrect, and hugely inappropriate.  All are traits which can cause conflict.

I will admit there was serious FOMO feeling of not being able to check in on what friends and family were doing.  Plus I also suspect that my cat and dog were not as receptive to my random musings as some of my friends are.

Things that I have learned/pondered:

  • Waiting in a queue is unbearably long when you are unable to scroll through your news feed.
  • It was painful not being able to share an image of my brunch salad from The Pier Cafe in Tramore. (Delish btw)
  • What are you supposed to do in the loo? Which brought me to my next point…
  • Most of our interaction with our friends is probably when we are sitting on the toilet.

    That last point will be the basis of my next post.