Edit: this post talks about bowel movements. My friend said I am better than that so it will be the last time I talk about shit but note you can totally win over the ender 10s with fart jokes. 

On New Year’s Day I mentioned my social media sabbatical and how I realised that most of my interaction on Facebook and Instagram was when I was in the toilet. 
For the two days on social media sabbatical I replaced my need to scroll with the need to swipe on dating sites. Most mobile app based dating sites require users to swipe right for hell yeahs and left for the oh hellll no.

Let me provide background. I am separated for a while. I believe this year I am finally allowed to apply for a divorce  (thank you Catholic Ireland 😑). Note that my ex at one point in my life was exactly what I had needed in my life at that particular moment of our lives. Unfortunately we both moved in different life paths which made it evident that we would never reconcile. Let me also state that I didn’t reach this point of Zen about our past relationship till much much later. 

Trying to juggle a job, motherhood, and a new health lifestyle change does not make it easy to meet men so I decided to give online dating a go again. I had tried it previously 5 years ago but the attempt was just filling a need to validate that I was still able to pull men in, that men still found me attractive. Anyways,  it’s not a basis in trying to establish a relationship when you need to seek outside justification for your self-worth. I had said it in a post today that in the past I had essentially became an extra in my life, that I allowed myself to fade in the background. You need to love yourself before you seek someone to love you. I digress. 

Online dating:

  • Tried POF, didn’t like it because any ‘ole Tom, Dick, and Harry can contact you. Also there is some load of married men on there looking for side action. Schmucks. 
  • Tried and am still on Bumble however buy in is slow in Ireland and is more users in Cork or Dublin. Btw there seems to be loads of single guys in Galway, so ladies I suggest a visit there. 
  • Tinder. Lol. I initially downloaded it for my girlfriends to take a look at it on a night out. It was great source of entertainment and one friend was treating it like the slots. 3 consecutive matches! YES!! I have to admit that it’s not as sleazy as I thought it would be.

All of these sites was actually accessed when I was on the toilet. I suspect most people doing the swipes is in their most vulnerable state with trousers at their ankles.

So the questions I have is how serious do you think a relationship can be if you swiped while shitting? 

Are you already dooming any hopes of something serious because you will associate your Tinder match with yesterday’s morning poo?


Next time I will discuss tips in keeping yourself safe when you do decide to do coffee date and the ridiculous dating profiles I have seen.