MalTazr

Drinks well with others. Happily dances alone.

Online dating…Profiles and keeping safe. — February 26, 2017

Online dating…Profiles and keeping safe.

I don’t know about you but I can be a very overly cautious person. 

As a woman who has lived in some questionable areas, I have navigated some tough neighbourhoods without being accosted. Sure you would get the ‘yo baby’, ‘mamacita’, and the ‘damn you fine’ shout outs but I never felt scared. I tell my friends to always walk with purpose, never be distracted, head up and perfect the look straight through a person but still taking everything in. If someone does try to mug you, throw something at their face. Natural reaction for anyone with sight is to throw their hands up then leg it as fast as you can.

Online dating presents a new way of trying to keep safe. People present only a limited view of themselves online. It is hard to gauge a person through their online persona. You may just only ever be breadcrumbed and never actually meet an individual but if you get the opportunity for an actual date here is some of my personal rules and dating tips. 

Grant it my dating tips are probably shite as I have been single for a while. So maybe don’t take all of my advice. 😂

Dating profiles. 

  1. No pictures gets an automatic left swipe. To the left, to the left is your theme song. Cruel? Perhaps…but I have been contacted by enough married/taken men looking for a bit of side action that this homie don’t play that.
  2. Fake pictures. I have come across a couple of profiles where men have taken photos straight off other people’s Facebook or Instagram pages. I use reverse image search a lot when my spidey senses are tingling. 
  3. If the person you swiped right on doesn’t use text speak on their profile then don’t use it when contacting them. That’s one of the quickest ways to get an unmatch. 
  4. If a person’s profile has pictures of them clothed don’t be expecting nudes nor should you send nudes. There are ‘speciality’ sites that you can go to. Speaking of nudes be aware that your picture will be shared amongst that person’s group of friend. If you still want to send that pic then don’t include your face. Generally my advice is steer clear of it. Much better in person 😘
  5. Those University of Life, School of Hard Knocks, and Full time Mad Bastard statuses needs to FUCKING die. It earns an auto swipe to the left. 
  6. Pictures of kids. It’s creepy. You’re on a dating site. You can acknowledge that you have kids in your profile but don’t share more than that. Generally speaking you should wait to introduce your kids until after a couple of dates like 10/20 or like 3 months. This goes for all sexes.

So if you navigate through all that and you find someone who piques your interest then set up that date. Sometimes it is just best to cannonball into the dating pool rather than dipping a toe. For Zeus sake, it’s just a date nothing more nothing less. Stop over thinking it and just treat it as an experience.

    Date event.

    1. Before a date, send a copy of your date’s profile to your trusted advisor friends – these friends may have swiped on your behalf and may have helped crafted some messages. Phone number. Picture. 
    2. Give them details as to where you will be going and the time.
    3. Dates for me is usually coffee for around 4ish. Coffee dates allows me to use my ridiculously stupid joke of how I take my coffee black like my soul – if they don’t laugh then already I know their humour is non sympatico to mine. Btw in regards to the timing of 4, if the date progresses well you can slyly suggest going someplace for a bite to eat. Now I did have a friend ask why wouldn’t I go for drinks. Many a dull person seemed so much more interesting when a couple of drinks have been consumed. Ask how can you keep yourself safe if you’re drinking? Alcohol lowers your inhibitions and impairs your judgement. So leave the alcohol for another day.
    4. I always go for coffee because it is cheap enough if they buy it and you don’t feel guilty for a €2.50 cuppa as its not a major investment. That way there is no expectations. Actually no one should expect any sort of payback if they offer to pay nor should you think you owe one. Be your own person and do not be worried about being rude in that regards.
    5. Generally speaking I give myself a time limit for the date (exception being if a date is going well). Half hour to 45 minutes is enough to gauge whether you want to progress to dinner or just end the date.
    6. Don’t leave your drink unattended. This is simply sound advice on dates and for when you go out. I’ve heard of both men and women being drugged so mind yourself.

    What are your top tips for online dating? What are the doozy profiles have you seen?